Leveling up – Part 4

It’s been several weeks since Taylor got the report from the photog about the failings of his approach to win Sara. The news was polite, direct, yet painful. His best game, it turned out, was not going to win the girl after all. At best, it must have turned her off. Made her upset. More likely, it had made him look like a fool and the clown of the team. He really dreaded going in to work after realizing how foolish he must appear. The photog had urged him not to internalize the report as a failure, but how else could he see it?

The report had a few things that kept ringing in his head. Things that went against his training, his instincts, his understanding of women. Take for example the first observation. Don’t, the report said, begin with the end in mind when approaching Sara. What kind of advice was that? If he didn’t have a clear goal, he’d surely just banter about and seem silly.

According to the report, by having a clear vision of the end, having Sara as his wife, he’d be projecting eagerness, thirst, and impatience. She’d run the other way, because she would feel like a hunted animal. The absolute best case scenario, he’d come across as highly annoying. That couldn’t be right. If that was, why would she even tolerate him speaking at her desk as often as he had? Could this be true? The report also said that he didn’t pay much attention to her body language because he was too focused on proving his vision right, that she was the woman that would marry him.

The report further told Taylor that his attempts at being sophisticated only came across as forced, insecure, and awkward. But, but, that’s how one had to be with a woman so clearly out of his league. He had to show her he was sophisticated enough to be in her company. The photog had great points, but these were hard to swallow.

So much so that Taylor stopped talking to Sara entirely as he tried to figure out what he was doing wrong. To his great shock and pain, there was no single effort by Sara to reach out to him. It’s like he didn’t matter at all. It’s like his best efforts to impress her failed massively to make a single dent in her consciousness. Clearly, she was more focused on that visiting manager than anything he had to say.

The part of the report that hurt Taylor the most… was the line that said he had to be himself. Like why?!?!? She’s never going to like that. She’s never going to speak to that kind of a looser. She’s too good for that. She’s too smart for that. She’s too forward thinking for that. Being himself was a sure fire remedy to getting ignored.. possibly reported to HR for being a royal pain in the rear. How could he possibly impress her, get her to fall for him, then learn to like him as he was if he couldn’t first hide his flaws? Being himself.. yeah.. that wouldn’t be easy. Taylor couldn’t accept that he was just that boring and uninteresting. No. That hurt too much. Certain truths needed to be kept in a vault.

At the end of the report, thankfully, no.. mercifully, there was a glimmer of hope. The photog said that he could learn to be interesting. He could learn to be appealing. He could learn to approach her with no hidden agenda (something he took exception to), no long term plans, no strategy, just be in the moment. If he put in the work, just maybe, and only maybe, she might actually come around and view him as an esteemed colleague. Yeah, some consolation prize. Just a co-worker. Sigh. But, if that did happen, there was a minute chance it could grow from there. But if he didn’t, there would be no chance ever to have any relationship on any level with Sara

Taylor looked at himself in his own mind and tried to digest yet again the advice. Ignoring Sara at work only enhanced the pain. He’d settle for being amicable coworkers over this gap of total silence. He’d just have to accept that she really is not feeling him and start working on his own confidence issues.

That report just hurt. Hurt bad. But, if he didn’t do the work, not only would he not get to know Sara better, but any other woman of her caliber would have nothing to do with him. That alternative.. let’s not think about that.. shuttered Taylor.

<to be continued>

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