Every person functions at a certain frequency or level of awareness. Most times, this changes with time… as in the case of a person’s experience from birth to adulthood.
Once in adulthood, the way one’s awareness changes is a bit more in one’s control. We decide to entertain novel ideas or reject them. With time, we develop ways to quickly decide what we want to see and what we don’t want to see.
Many of these processes are automated and happen just below consciousness.
Levels of Awareness
For the simplicity of this Motivational Monday post, let’s stick to two broad definitions of awareness. There is the person who is very open and aware and there is the one who is very closed and unaware. the nuances fall under a continuum of awareness as well as openness
Most people work and play at the level of awareness that is most comfortable and familiar to themselves. It’s a normal human thing. This usually is not a problem for people either.
In our ever connected world where we run into different people from different backgrounds, the temptation is to protect our own and our views. It’s normal. It’s human instinct. It worked for a long time. However, it’s not always the best way to function in a diverse world.
One reason why being closed and unaware is not a good thing… we make the wrong assumptions about others. What might be comfortable for me is not for someone else. Without being open to the possibility, one will not make the right choices and risk ruining a connection with another person.
Here’s an example of this:
A venture capitalist (who will not be mentioned by name, as that is not important today) held the view that the best way to really know someone is to socialize with them. While that is true, the definition of socialization varies greatly from people to people.
In his case, a drink in a luxury cabin in the woods while soaking in a hot-tub was the best way to break barriers and chat with prospective investment leaders.
In a world where you’re dealing with cabin in the woods loving men who enjoy sharing a hot tub, that works great. Now, what if the person is a pregnant woman from a culture that forbids that degree of closeness with a man who is not your husband?
This post was inspired by something shared on Instagram. The shared post will be attached below. We can only connect with another person as closely as we understand how the other person functions and how open they are to connecting with us. We can’t make them do anything they don’t want to or know how to do.
Many have struggled to convince someone to see a different perspective that would benefit them. It’s noble. However, it can be frustrating and destructive at times. We can only work with someone to the degree in which they’re aware it is possible.
Some, thanks to trauma, are not able or willing to connect very closely with you. That’s OK. Let them be. Especially since most people will show through their actions what works for them and what does not.
I’m an introvert. It’s just the way I’m built. There will be times when I have to pull back to recharge. I’m very aware of this. I work hard to understand the ways of extroverts. I can do a good enough job to pass for one. Many swear I’m an extrovert… despite what I tell them. This was cultivated over the years.
Had I not worked hard to get this degree of understanding/awareness… I would easily carry on in the ways of an introvert and wonder why some are put off by me and offended by me being myself. (introversion in a world that preaches the virtues of being extroverted… often leads to unfortunate conclusions… like my quiet days being interpreted as me being unapproachable)
As we move into a new week, let’s keep in mind that we can only do but so much while dealing with others. The only person we really can improve on is ourselves. We may never change our nature, but with deeper awareness of our nature, we can develop better habits that better serve us and others.
Through changing ourselves, we create an opportunity for others to see us differently, if they’re able to. Each of us have our own journeys. We all have our rate of development and awareness.
While some folks will prefer to remain closed and not expand their levels of awareness, this does not make them any less good as humans. If our journey causes to grow and they prefer not to or are unable to… then… we carry on while still loving them for who they are.
Limiting ourselves to accommodate someone’s lack of awareness will not lead to the best outcome for everyone. If you’ve got that one person in your life who is constantly dragging you back to your old self, it may just be time to respect their wishes to stay in the past and move on.
We can accept others without compromising ourselves and our path in life. We can work with others without having to limit ourselves.
Keep in mind, this ever more connected world has over seven billion people. There are more opportunities to meet others who can work with you more fully than those you’re leaving behind. That said, do not neglect those who are very aware and open who do work with you and want you to be your best self. Those folks, cherish them, strengthen your bond with them (provided that it is mutually beneficial to do so)
In the event someone who “got left behind” experiences their growth spurts and catches up to you, it would be very nice to be open and aware enough to not reject them based on their late bloom. Same with those who bloomed before you… and you’re now catching up or overtaking them.
In the journey of life, we can only accept people for who they are and what they do as we work on being our best selves.
Have a great and awesome week!
This is beautiful….and I've been thinking about this quote for a long time. Despite how peaceful, open and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they meet themselves. It's nothing personal towards you. Everyone has a process. You just have to accept theirs and embrace yours. ❤ Have a beautiful Saturday! #JustFeelingGrateful @latipoetry
These musings inspired by…
OfficialKTR of Instagram who’s website is http://www.ktrcollection.com
there was no prior agreement to do this post. No sponsorship. Not gifts. Just musings from seeing this post
KTR credits Latipoetry of IG in her post… so… out of respect, doing the same here