When Saying “I Do”
Just so you know… this is not something I do lightly, or say lightly. This is serious. Like, very serious to me. I stand before these witnesses pouring out my soul to you in hopes you catch me and hold me close to your heart.
To Say “I Do”
It is not a game, it is not a dress rehearsal, it is not a fad, it is not fake. This is for real. I don’t care what others have to say, I’m standing here before you handing over the keys to my emotional kingdom. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t believe you’d take this very seriously too.
I may appear tough on the outside, because that is what I’ve been socialized to do. But let’s be real, you’re not the only one shaking and wondering.
I’m pledging my life to you. I’m giving you full access to my most vulnerable and sacred spaces of my soul. You’re the one I trust more than any other.
I am leaving the only comfortable life I’ve known, I’m turning to you to start what I hope will be an even better life. I’m trusting you with my eternal life.
This vow, “’Til Death…” is not just a phrase to me. It is the honor code by which I publicly stake my claim of happiness. I am saying to you, with witnesses, that life without you is less important than life with you.
This day has been long in the making. An entire village has raised me, an entire community has faith in their efforts invested in me. I stand before you, with the full faith and might of my village, to say “I Do”.
What saying “I do” means…
To me, it is a promise. To me, it is hope. To me, it’s the vision of brighter tomorrows. It is the very foundation on which my legacy is being built on.
I do promise to hold you tight. I do promise to listen even if I’ve heard this many times before, I will act like it’s very important to me, because you’re important to me.
Many will want the benefit and skip the work… but… I’m saying I will take the work so I can have the benefits of you smiling next to me every morning.
I’m aware that I’m risking days when you’re not going to smile, I’m risking days when you’ll deny me my sunshine. But that’s OK. I do believe I have what it takes to provide you an umbrella during your dark days and create that sunshine that keeps you warm as you recharge your spirit on my chest.
I do understand that your culture and your heritage will have to blend in with mine. I understand in order for this union to work, there can’t be two bosses screaming “I”. It’s team work that makes the dream work. We are in this together. We are the power that makes us one.
I do understand there will be days when my needs will not be met. I know that in those days, my ability to live independently will have to sustain us while I take care of you until you’re able to take care of me. I know those days may not be understood by others, but that’s not their cross to bear, nor their crown to wear.
When I say “I do”, it is a conscious choice to submit my needs to your care and tune in an attentive ear to your needs so I can best tailor my caring to feed your heart.
I come into this with minimal expectations… as in the case of having trust being our bedrock, love being our cover, and faithfulness being our code of ethics. I will provide and embellish your world without demanding you do the same in return, because I know that when you love me, I am empowered, healed, and embellished.
From a man’s point of view, my vows is to add value to your life and leave you as powerful as you can be. In doing so, it gives you the best chance to do what a woman does best… multiply my love and share it with others… like our children and me. In your blossoming love I will find my peace that fosters the harmony that keeps us moving together.
All in a vow
The world may not celebrate what we’re doing or value it as we do, but that’s not my concern, as it is not to them I make my pledge. We’ve selected a precious few who will hold us accountable to be the success we hope to be. They’re our accountability partners who have agreed to support us when we need them to help us.
But, even with all of that, in the very end, it is always you and me working daily to make this work. The ceremony was made to look very pretty by design. It is the symbol of our heaven on earth. It is the symbol of the beauty we hope to create within the walls of our home.
When I say “I do”, I am agreeing to learn, work with, and understand you in the creation of this slice of paradise.
Our vows are sacred to me. The only demand I make of you is that you honor your word. Without that, I can’t trust life to be happy, sad, or glad. I can’t trust to be cared for or understood. I can’t trust my dreams and assets to anyone. My very existence and understanding of the world is being shaped and molded by the very trust I place in you.
While I promote you, support you, encourage you, I only demand that you hold your end of your vows as sacredly as I hold mine.
After all, another word for vow is trust. I’m pouring all of me into your hands as the ultimate sacrificial love with the hopes this will give you the necessary fuel to help you bloom and be my partner for life.
The Photo Gallery
This line of thoughts was brought to you by a set of photos done at a wedding of a friend of my family. I was not the primary photographer, however, the images speaks volumes to the love that was shared that day. Enjoy the view of the rest of the images I’ve selected to share with you this… as you picture the vows that were shared on that glorious day.
The blog post that accompanies this piece of writing lives here (Coordinated Expressions of Love)… if you’re interested
The pictures that inspired a big blog post about vows, trust, love, marriage.
The Garden of Eden them… where Two Became One
Sharing a few ideas that could pass for vows in an era where weddings are falling out of favor.
Not my original vows… just musings about saying “I Do”