It is a question of trust. Not like in the trust of just others, but the trust in ourselves.
Two sided question of trust
We often will discuss about trusting others. It is a question of safety really. If you can’t trust someone, there is really no need to develop more connectivity with them. It’s a risky proposition.
There are enough memes about the trust of others that there is no need to write a long epic blog post about that. However, in the journey of personal growth, there is one less discussed topic. Trusting ourselves.
The deepest least discussed aspect of self-trust
The Bounce Back. That’s the aspect of self-trust most do not discuss. We often do not trust our ability to recover emotionally from being betrayed. This is where the biggest power of trust lives.
The ability to bounce back from things outside of our control. People will disappoint us. We will disappoint others. Yet, like most other humans, we are resilient. This resiliency is what allows us to continue to live and adjust.
The amount we trust others, is the amount we trust ourselves to recover if they disappoint – Usha Tunnel
The problem starts to arise when we forget or lose trust in our ability to bounce back from being hurt and or disappointed. Not sure how or when that happens to some, but that lack of trust means we start to play defensively.
When one plays defensively, one tends to play small. It’s not like playing a strong defense is bad. However, defense is about avoiding loss. It’s about holding on to what is current.
Offense is about gaining more. Expanding territory. Enlarging capability.
When one is afraid to trust, one is giving up the gains of trust. The social lubricant is trust. Without it, retreat and protectionism is the smartest play. However, nature is not about shrinking and decay. Nature has moments of growth and innovation with periods of hibernation and recovery for the next period of expansion and acquisition.
The best gift one can give oneself is the ability to trust oneself to be OK. With that, one can test new ideas, take chances, recover from setbacks. The cup is half full. One trusts the ability to adapt and learn.
When pursuing goals and trying to build a better life, one has to trust in one’s ability to get to the new destination. The path may not be clear, but like Martin Luther King Jr often said… we don’t have to see the whole staircase to take one step up. (loosely paraphrased). We have to trust in our ability to figure it out.
Life has funny ways of working. Let’s not play small. Let’s not give up on a lot of opportunities because we just want to hang on to what feels safe… or worse avoid the off chance of getting hurt.
Growth hurts. But growth is life.
As we all move through this week, let’s build our confidence in our ability to recover in the event of disappointment… because… imagine how much further you’ll get if you took the chance and everything did work out. In the unlikely event that you don’t have a smooth run through this week, as long as you’re alive, you’ll bounce back. Just trust that you will.
Have a great awesome week built on full trust in one’s ability to bounce back as well as press forward.
This inspired by the post of Godzdesign of Instagram