There is this thing in science that says that if you observe something very closely, you will change it. Ok. Not a science thing in the fullest since that it’s typed, but in quantum physics… There is this notion that if you observe an electron, you’re in essence having an impact on it’s state of being by observing it.
While this is not a science post, this concept I hastily paraphrased is what the mirror play is all about. Enjoy the story.
Matt sat watching the day shift into night and wondered to himself where he had gone so horribly wrong. He was feeling like he was in the middle of a meltdown of sorts he’d never seen. Why was he having such doubt about himself?
He was a good guy. He was nice to people. He had done his best to be good to those around him, yet he felt used, dirty, bad. So, while he had a day off, he figured it be nice to dive deeply into his thoughts.
When he had met Kelly, it as like the heavens parted and sang all kinds of glory songs. They were supposed to be fast friends. They were supposed to be the perfect combination of skills that would ignite untold wonderful adventures.
Instead, it was one bad misstep after another. He couldnt’ see straight, couldn’t talk straight. Confidence eluded him at every single corner around Kelly.
Matt applied himself to studying who Kelly was and how to approach her. The harder he tried, the more he failed. It was hopelessly clear that things were becoming very hopeless.
To make matters worse, he felt all kinds of insecurities, all kinds of dark emotions whenever he tried to talk to Kelly. Whenever he was not around her, the thought of her made him more motivated to be a better version of himself. In fact, in the few weeks they had met, he had managed to brush up his resume, move up the job ladder, move up in his social circles, got more involved in his community, and gotten the attention of influencers he had failed to impress in many prior efforts.
Matt just couldn’t understand why every time he tried to build the friendship that he knew was there, things just mucked up and soured. Kelly clearly wanted nothing to do with him. She actively avoided him. Whatever he had tried, made him look very repulsive to her.
In quiet desperation, Matt started to journal his thoughts. He had to get a solid grip on this weirded dynamic. Then it hit him. He was seeing himself in the mirror in a way he had never before.
Most of his early life, he had been the mentor, the coach, the motivator, the enough, and influencer. People needed him. He was always willing to help. For the first time in his life, he now was the one in need of help. He had held on to so may hurts and pains, he had learned to soldier on without help, now here he was facing someone who did not need him. Did not want him. But was perfect for him.
Kelly had her own agenda that didn’t have room for another guy to help up. She was going her places. She wanted a strong man who knew how to get where he was going. Plus, she had no idea if this was going to be a friendship or more.. and she had no need for more.
This brief encounter with Kelly was a window into his world. Matt was looking at a mirror of himself. Well, sort of one. It was what others felt when they were around him. It was a look at how much he was growing and how that impacted others.
By studying how to get closer to Kelly, Matt in essence was looking at how to get closer to his inner set of emotions. This was a window into how he ticked, functioned, moved, thought, operated. He now knew more about himself than he had ever had. The universe had conspired to introduce him to Kelly not for a friendship, but a chance to grow past his hurts and insecurities. The process was painful. The process was not fun. Yet it had to be.
Instead of now focusing on how to get to be great friends with Kelly, as this was not going to happen, Matt now realized that he had to be his own best friend. He needed to be at peace with himself. By becoming his best self, he’d’d attract wonderful people into his life who were on his level. This would make a huge difference in the way things were. He was not going to only be pulling people up and helping them out, it was going to be a tribe of like minded people coming together to make things happen. This was the play on a mirror the universe had played on him.
Kelly was the mirror that was reflecting back to Matt the keys to his happiness. His new drive to be successful was great, but it needed to start from within.
The evidence all pointed to one thing. He was not going to be the close confidant of Kelly.. That was a pipe dream left for the birds. He was saddened by this, but he was also very happy to have realized that this was a play on himself. The mirror effect was helping know that he was going to be just fine. He had to trust the process. He was going to be that guy he could be proud of.