Humility. Sacrifice. Transparency. Now that’s marriage vows

I had the great fortune of attending my cousin’s wedding which prompted me to write a blog post in their honor. A musical symphony of harmonious love bound for eternity. While most events, I do bring my camera gear along and jump in alongside the other professionals, this was an event to sit back and witness how beautiful love is. I’m so glad I got to sit in as a witness with my amazing wife to see this union come to reality.

The day was filled with promises. There was so much to plan, to do, to execute. To know what went down behind the scenes would definitely make for great reading. Planning such a gorgeous and magnificent wedding takes a lot of team efforts. This was one to remember.

My cousin got married in the most amazing of ways. Sure it’s not the type of situation that is very far from the norm, but it was definitely a cut above the rest. That is just a testimony to who they are. They are amazing people who work very hard to be the best version of themselves they can be. Not in an ego way. But in a God glorifying way.

To paint a picture, the guest were treated to a most heavenly of musical prelude. Being that the groom is a musician himself, the quality of talent was fabulous. Live spectacular amazing sets of romantic music set the right mood to draw you into the feel of heaven on earth.


While it would be sweet to try to describe the way the stage was decorated, it wouldn’t match the impact of being there live or that a photo would do. You’ve got to check the Facebook reporters for that. This photog was just there to support and enjoy the experience. And an experience it was.

The key words that set the tone of the new alliance of this wedding was “Humility. Sacrifice. Transparency”. In the wedding vows, newbie hubby promised that humility is the way to keep honest about his work of being the king of the home. By humility, he further explained, he means that he’s a servant leader.

I have to expand on this a little. By being a servant leader, you’re putting your self-interest on hold for the benefit of those you promise to provide for. That includes getting up at night to get a glass of water when you’re dog tired. That means handing over the remote control so that she can enjoy her show in the middle of your game. (ok.. not every single time.. balance can be reached.. but it’s the principle that is at play here)


Using the example of Jesus Christ, a servant leader is willing to lay down his life for the one he loves. Mr. Hubby here has vowed very publicly to do so.. even using a T.D. Jakes vocal impression to lock in the full commitment.

The man seemed to levitate on air as he pronounced his words. He definitely had a new pep in his steps. The Sacrifice element further supports the depth of the humility that is to be found in the vows and practice of love. Without a spirit of sacrifice, one can’t push the ego far enough aside to put pride in check. Without that check, one can get in the way of loving your spouse and hurt them instead of help them grow.

It’s the daily work of checking yourself, checking your priority, checking your values, and adjusting each and every single day to make sure that your partner is provided for in all aspects of spiritual, emotional, intellectual, financial, physical, and social parts of life.

The last pillar of his vow was transparency. Many get caught up in being authentic to the point of buying into their faking act and believing it to be true. Not all authentic disclosures are genuine. In fact, actors can be highly authentic. That’s why they’re believable. That’s why you’re moved in the movies. That’s why you love the character they showed you. It was totally authentic an act.
Transparency is totally different. It is the bold honest disclosure of the most intimate aspects of yourself. Not having secretly held grudges that you only share with your boys, or worse, gal pals. It’s being able to tell your partner whatever and knowing that you both will work it out together under the watchful and providing eye of the Lord. It is sharing the wins and losses. It’s sharing the joy and sorrows of life together in all seasons of weather.

The beautiful bride preached. Ok. That’s a reach. She nailed down her vows however. That… was beautiful. See. The wife of a pastor should know how to handle a microphone. And that she did. Her very beautifully crafted vows and how her love of Christ prepared her for loving her husband is a story worth keeping close to the heart as a role model.

I’ve said in the past that a great woman has to be and is always smarter than her man. Why? Because to take care of your dreams and goals while making his dreams and goals possible is no easy task. You’ve got two operations to make work seamlessly together as one in one accord. That’s genius. And the bride is a genius. In all the FB status updates Mr Groom has made to date about his better half, he’s described her as life, rock, foundation, breath, and power. He is a wise man to have accepted this Queen into his life.

While it is easy to go on and on about the wedding itself and what took place, the reception was just as amazing. The DJ was one of the all time best DJ’s I’ve heard at a wedding. I have been to a lot of those. This man understood his craft. Out of pure fairness, I will not crown him the absolute best, but you get my point.

This union brought together some of the brightest, sharpest, gifted, talented, progressive, and wonderful people of the community. It takes a village to raise a home. This village is one that sits in the avant guard of society. Reminds me of an author who once penned that (and I paraphrase) “being in the social elite of non-snobbish-intelligencia is a gift without compare”. That’s how the whole event played out. Being in the midst of people with tremendous talent and generosity without the egos that tends to match such talents, now that’s totally amazing


That ambiance is a testimony to the quality of people this power couple attracts. They work with amazing people. They’re related to amazing people. They nurture people to become their best selves. They give and give. And the results is that you’re amongst friends and family that is the envy of many who don’t want to put the effort to cultivate greatness.

As I wrap this idea flow, I want to wish my cousin the best of success in his new life. This is the final chapter while at the same time being the start of the best book of his life. First edition prepped you for today. Second edition is you living the kingdom on earth in preparation for the kingdom in heaven. No retirement, no u-turns, only rest stops to refuel and carry on. Yes, vacations count as rest stops too.

Gasmyr and Diane. You both are stellar examples of what working together looks like. You both trust each other and work well together. I applaud your union. I celebrate your union. I pray for your union. Let your love be a guiding light and testimony that love works, love is awesome, love is reachable, and love has moments where it looks very very easy…and can be just as easy as it looks if daily work is put in.

You’ve got plenty of great advice as is. If you need any more…after a reasonable grace period.. just ask. Love you guys!!!!
p.s. She blogs at give her some love 


A few photos that’s floating around the social media world about the #GazDee16 wedding … thanks @lenny.d – a talented photographer and musician



3 thoughts on “Humility. Sacrifice. Transparency. Now that’s marriage vows

  1. God be praised! I am speechless!!! Cousin….cousiinnnn!!! You do not even know how much you touched us! We are so happy to see how our union and God’s restoration was experienced that day. And let me say this: You are an AMAZING writer sir! I am going to use your post on my blog! We love you cuz!

    1. Thank you very kindly! These words mean plenty for me as I explore this newly discovered gift.

      You’re more than welcome to share this on your blog. I will also let you know when I do my next more in depth dive into the vows you both shared. They’re powerful and deeply amazing vows

      Have a beautiful rest of honeymoon

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