Conclusion

Those who have a higher sense of control over their lives then to enjoy that life a lot more than those who don’t. The degree of control varies by situation, but is always subject to one’s choice about a situation.

Example.

I can not do anything about my height. I am as tall as I am. What I do control is how I feel about my height. I can either hate it, love it, or be neutral about it. What I decide greatly influences how I feel about my height. It’s a funny circle like that.

There are people who hate their jobs. But, over time, have found ways to see their jobs to minimize their risk of dreading their jobs. Instead of seeing it as a hated place, they see it as the means to save up enough to move on to a better life… as in save up enough money to leave the job so that they can hunt for better.

There are some folks who really hate their neighbors noisy ways. However, by reframing it to see it as an example of what to check for in their next move, so not to have the same experience, it gives them a focus and drive. It is no longer enduring with hatred endlessly, it is holding hope for a move that otherwise might not have been considered.

Circumstances are what they are. How one decides to feel about them is inside our control. Then, once we feel a degree of control, we can go about making adjustments until we build a new set of circumstances… if that is possible. No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel. So, don’t let them.

note, this does not mean you’re without feelings. Someone stabs you in the back, that hurts. However, you can decide how long you’re going to hurt.

Never give up more control than is absolutely necessary… and take it back as soon as it makes sense to take it back. In the writer’s application of this advice… when clock out time at work happens, the mind no longer pays attention to work until the punch in time. I don’t do work emails, text, calls, at home…extremely few super rare exceptions. That’s one way to keep the locus of control in my court.

What’s your locus of control?