What of this humility?
Often times, especially in church, we talk about humility. Everyone needs more humility. It is the only safeguard against a great fall from arrogance.
Well, this blog has nothing against humility at all. In fact, humility is encouraged. It keeps you from swelling up too big for your own good. It helps keep smoke from filling your mind and causing delusions of “I got this… peace of cake” mindset setting in.
Faked smallness is concealed arrogance
The problem really is that some will fake humility. Fake being small. They don’t want folks to see that they think they have it all under control.
“Oh no… it’s not me… I don’t know how I did that”
“Oh this old thing… I just threw it on, didn’t know if it’d look good” meanwhile, the tags are still on it for a quick return afterward
“My, I must have been lucky, had no idea how I’d pull this off” but they’ve worked long hours and kept everyone updated on social media of their progress to this great performance
It is perfectly OK to say thank you for a compliment. That is more humble than deflecting with fake humility. Sure, that’s what is taught, but doesn’t mean it’s the right way…
Accept praise with a thanks, and keep it moving. That’s humility. Oh and yes, it’s cool to give credit to God… provided you’re not using that credit to conceal any arrogance.
Important side note. Giving thanks to God and also accepting your part in your skill development is not arrogance. Many would benefit from your willingness to share the steps you took to get your skills. That is actually teaching others what God has taught you. An even higher praise to Him. So, don’t deny others access to valuable information in an effort to appear humble.
Low self esteem is not humility
Nothing about low self esteem is very helpful to the person with it or those around that person affected by it. The worse is when that is viewed and praised as humility.
That’s a problem many churches won’t address. It sounds good. That denial of self, that avoiding credit, that constant doubt of one’s ability. It sounds godly but it isn’t.
Short version… stop it already! It’s not only off-putting, but it is a very bad testimony of what God would like to do with you. I will go so far to say… that version of fake humility could well be standing in your way of blessings.
wait… what?… How…?
“I don’t deserve… I couldn’t have without the Lord… I’m not worthy… It really wasn’t me… it was so-and-so really… I had nothing to do wit this” While that is not always a bad thing, when it originates from one with low self esteem, the other half of the coin is often forgotten about.
The half that goes like this “I can’t do, because I don’t know… I really shouldn’t… as I’m sure I’ll mess things up if God doesn’t save me…” Yeah.. That lack of confidence talk. That lack of faith walking. That paralysis in front of challenges. Yeah, you! Stop that low self esteem looking fake humility!
let’s not talk about how that is preventing many from finding a life partner or going for a raise/promotion… or pursuing higher education…etc
taking away power from others by faux modesty
That weak stance of apologizing for being yourself is really a disservice to others. Many won’t learn from your abilities because you’re denying your abilities. We’ve talked about that already above.
The most damaging aspects come when others learn from your example to deny their abilities. When one denies one’s abilities… the motivation to improve said abilities goes away, the incentives aren’t there, and that ability will eventually stagnate.
Faux modesty’s ripple effect is to lower the average ability of a community, because everyone is too busy denying abilities instead of nurturing, cultivating, nourishing, and encouraging abilities in self and others. how can you coach someone if you deny you have something worth coaching with?
ready for the conclusion? Me too… on the final short page