Win vs Right

Play to win

While it is very commonplace to believe that the pay to win model must mean that the other person must lose, for this article, that is not the case. The vantage point of winning makes all the difference in the world.

Various modes of winning

The way one looks at a situation and identifies the win is what is important. One can play the “win” card many different ways. Unlike the “right” card that insists that one view is correct and all others are wrong, the “win” card has many lines on it.


The most common view is that I win and you lose. Simple. One winner takes all. And this is where the “I’m right” camp tends to live. Fortunately, there are times when this approach is very necessary. You have to win with your child when it comes to teaching them to keep their hands off the stove. You can’t afford to not win.

However, this model does not require squashing the esteem of the other in winning. This model can be soaked in love, compassion, empathy, and kindness when winning. You’re winning to protect the other, so in the long run, everyone wins, while in the moment, the other feels the loss.


This model, when abused, makes one look like a doormat, however it has it’s place. It is when one takes one for the team. One takes a bow. One accepts to give in for the sake of the other. Often this stance requires strength, grace, and heart to execute well without losing face.

Sadly, in this stance, when dealing with someone who has to be right, this can prove a slippery slope for the long run. This can also be a tough situation to be in with a boss who loves seeing you conceding your position often.


This is the situation that most people who play to win (according to this article). This is where the perspective of the relationship has to win.

The necessary compromises take into considerations the views of all involved and gets a solution that works for all the parties involved. This often means leaving the ego aside and working with both the mind and heart to get the solutions.

In romantic settings, this is the mindset one needs for the longevity of love. This is how teams get stronger. This is how nation states can coexist in peace.

Everyone at the table gets something they need, want, and hoped for… even though they don’t get the full list.

To play in win-win, one has to be an excellent listener, great negotiator, and know the difference between empathy and compassion.

let’s move towards a winning conclusion on the next page

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